Familia

More now than ever, I feel the pressure of having my own family. Being that my father is 1 of 17 kids and my mother 1 of 13, yes all from the same parents. And well me - I am the youngest of what was 7. The question lingering in my mind as I am in my late twenties:

What does having a child mean to me? Well that will mean I’d have to shift my entire life. Becoming a mother is a beautiful obligation that one has to take unselfishly. Personally, I don’t feel ready to ever make that sort of decision. Yet again, I love the idea of creating a life. To know I have created life. That itself is a blessing that no one could ever take from me.

Do I want children? In the matter I just mention, yes I do want children. Children my future husband and I would love, protect, and give guidance to. As a woman, the act of having a child is unbearable. Not only labor could feel painful but also the months of recovery after the fact. Women go through more than just physical pain, but also emotional. We give all of ourselves to our children. Yet, so many people don’t realize how difficult it is until - if they are a woman, experience it or if they are a man, see their partner go through it.

Now what if you as a woman, spent your life studying for a career that wasn’t easy and finally feel like you have gotten your foot in the door and still have so much more to learn and understand. How could I feel comfortable with leaving my child with anyone? There is so much to think about. These are the things growing up Mexican no one talks about because culturally - woman were always traditionally home to care for and raise their children. That is no longer the way of life.

I was raised to make my own and take care of myself. My father always told me, “ You buy your own things. You don’t need anyone to do that for you,” and so that is what I have done. But having my own family I feel stress to think I’d have to be it all. Even if my husband makes his own money and need to make my own. I could never and would never be happy nor comfortable in having to ask anyone for money. That is not in me. I work for what I have. And that’s that. So if I ever have children, I would have to have enough money to feel like I have everything to offer - and the three most important things to me are love, time, and money. Therefore, we shall see if my future includes children.