Boundaries

A friend asked me to write about boundaries, so here I am. The thing is, I’ve never had an issue with boundaries. My friends often ask me how that is. Honestly, I believe I have good boundaries because I’ve always been focused on my goals. There have been times when I probably overextended my kindness to people who didn’t deserve it. Maybe I should have set boundaries then, but I didn’t know better. Now I do.

After learning that lesson, I stopped caring about being disliked. I became more selfish with my time, and I created clear boundaries. People began to respect me and my time. I wouldn’t allow myself to waste time on anything or anyone that didn’t align with my goals, my happiness, or the life I wanted. It’s that simple for me.

Plus, my anxiety wouldn’t let me say yes to spending time with someone or something if I truly didn’t want to. I like to think I have good judgment of character, which is why my circle is tight. Growing up as the youngest of six, I learned quickly what I didn’t want to end up like and what choices to avoid. That’s why I usually knew what I wanted and what I didn’t. Being the youngest, I also learned to be clear with others about how I felt and what I would or wouldn’t tolerate.

Writing this makes me seem like a bit of a loner and somewhat harsh, but again, I didn’t and don’t care. I enjoyed being alone because it gave me time to get to know myself and figure out what I needed to do to escape the environment I was in. Boundaries are clear to me, and I’m not afraid to set them because I must respect and honor myself for anyone else to do the same.

If you’re having a hard time setting boundaries in your life, I suggest writing down the areas where you might need to set some boundaries. Then, think about what boundaries you can set to help yourself focus on the things and people that are important to you. Be clear with yourself and others about your boundaries, and take it one day at a time.