Is it the weather?

The seasons are changing— it’s autumn. I love autumn. The cold weather forcing me to stay warm and cozy. I eat delicious homemade food which includes soup, baked goods, hot tea,and coffee. Yum!

The only issue is, I tend to get too cold which gets me sick. I am after all a California girl. This Ohio weather will never be it for me. But not only is the weather making me sick. It makes me sick to be so far from home.

During the holiday seasons, I miss being home so much more. Depression easily and quickly takes over me. My body and mind no longer feels like it’s mine. For everyone who has moved far away from home, from everything and everyone they know and love. I am sure you can understand how difficult it can be.

Making the decision to be so far has never been easy. But being able to do all the things I do on my own, meeting so many great individuals, and having the opportunity to live through great experiences has been a blessing.

Although, I am grateful and I know I’ve been very blessed I can’t do anything but wonder is it worth it anymore? Depression has almost had me do a very stupid thing in the past. I know nothing is worth feeling that type of pain. So just like the seasons change, so is my life.

It’s up to me. God, the universe, please give me the strength and the courage to make the changes that will bring me closer to my happiest self.

And please, know you are never alone. As happy as I may look, I’ve been fighting depression since I was little. I’ll continue living because I know life is worth living. I promise, it will get better. I must have faith that it does.